I've always had the feeling that someone, or something, protects me and helps me. I also feel that this misterious reality let me free. It doesn't directly guide me, but it seems to softly push me towards the situations or spots it wants. Some times I find the book I need, a book that tells me what I need to understand in that moment. Other times I find a movie, or a human being, or a word, or a text, or a quote... The precise help I need. In the middle of the catastrophe, a strange and deep silent merriment floods through me and goes into my mind besides the pain of the situation. It allows me to be quiet and to have confidence on existence. In the awckward situations, I have on the back of my mind all day not only a nagging but also a strong safety, a deep comfort, a singular sensation of not being alone.
And I don't believe in any particular religion; I have no reasons to believe in old and non verified doctrines that suddenly in the history have developed violence, intolerance, impositions, crimes, manipulation... The true God, if it exists, is likely above of all that sort of anthropomorphism. This God (if it exists) has created men and women with all their animal skills, their shortcomings... so this God is also responsible of the human acting, and this God will attract all human beings, all the consciousness toward the right construction of themselves, without rejection, without sentences. Some integrist people grunt when they read my words, but when I writte all this words, I feel wide awake.
People fear to deny what society, parents and teachers have been teaching them during the whole life. They feel guilty if they leave the believes of their ancestors, but they should realise that our first duty is to be faithful to the truth, to the freedom, to the love... and in the past, the human minds suffered from the worst sickness people could suffer: ignorance. And not only from ignorance but also from tiranny, from manipulation... Ignorance was the handle where the powerful men seized the human lifes to guide them towards slavery and submission. So... I am not faithful to the faith of my ancestors but to the ideas that make people free and empathic. I believe Jesuchrist was just a man, and no more than a man; it turns out a clear evidence if somebody reads the bible. Even the very Christ believed he was jus a man, and not a God. I don't feel bad for thinking it. If Jesuchrist was really God and I was wrong, would be he a kind being if he sentenced me to the hell for not having believed in him as a God? Was God a good being if he sentenced someone only for his or her way of thinking? The God that the Bible describes is a being full of hate for those who doesn't believe... a God much more similar to a frantic man or woman than a being full of love and wisdom. I don't believe in this false and anthropomorphic God, because God has created the sex the nakedness, the happiness, the freedom and the peals of laughter... The true God is awesome and free, and he or she is falling in love with freedom and tenderness. I am happy for feeling this God so near.
I'm not a perfect being, but I 'm happy and I love this true God, creator of music and sunsets, poet and lover, mistress and rambler, artist and child... this is the true love, very different to the eerie being invented by people with violent heart. The invented God gives me the creeps, and the hairs of the back of my neck prickled when I think of this bloodcurling being. How can anyone think that this Biblical monstrosity could have create all the love and the beauty of the universe? How can anybody think that this punisher of its own shortcoming creatures could have thought all the greatness of nature?
I walked once by the green meadow of the dear land of Scotland and heared the sound of the pipes on my mind. Then I thought of all those dear people that have been born and that have died on this lovely land during the long history of human kind, and I realised that the punishment and the violence is not the truth. Further the legality and the revenge, beyond the physical and animal reasoning, there is a hope, a deep hope that has its foundations in a misterious reality that guides and loves all of us. This reality is not Jesuchrist, and therefore, I'm not christian, I don't belong and I don't want to belong to any christian church. I believe in a misterious God that embraces all of us, a true God very different to all the invented gods of the human history. A God above all the religions. This is my evidence and my merriment.